Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Grateful for the blessings, but so ready to be done

Well, by Friday I will have officially completed 7 out of 9 cycles of chemo. I will have stayed in the hospital 11 times, 5 days each time, since December. I will have received high doses of 5 different chemo drugs, survived an excruciating and simultaneously miraculous surgery to piece my leg back together, plus another minor surgery to fix up the first one.

Our bodies are amazing. We can do truly horrible things to our bodies and often times they bounce right back and continue to function. I would be lying if I said there have been no side effects. For example, I am currently enjoying all the fun symptoms that accompany menopause. Every 23 year old's dream! But I can walk! I can breathe! I can laugh with my husband! I can swim! And you KNOW I work that stationary bike. Ha ha.

I guess I'm saying we all have different trials, but there are always blessings to help sustain us; there are always things to learn. Part of me does feel bitter that I had the life I always wanted, and in a matter of days that life was gone. My new life consisted of pain, sickness, devastating physical changes, a lot of dependence on other people, and a total lack of direction and purpose. Yet I have never felt more love, hope, and a desire to be better. I have never felt more at peace with both life here on earth and life after death.

Despite loving so many of the blessings that have found me during this trying time, I could not be happier to announce that. . .

I have 2 months and 6 days left of treatment. Boo. Ya.

                                                         Miss you eyebrows.

9 comments:

  1. I love it! You were such an awesome neighbor...well you still are if it is okay that I still call you my neighbor! ;)

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    1. Aw we miss you guys! We haven't even seen the new people that moved into your place. :-(

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  2. Love you Crystal, you're amazing!

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  3. You are incredible, and I admire your faith and strength so much. Best of luck with the rest of your treatment!

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    1. Thank you! There are definitely moments of great faith and also moments of great fear and weakness. 2 more months!

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  4. You are the best. I'm so glad we are friends.

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    1. We are not friends, we are BFFs. :-)

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  5. Hello Mrs. C!!! This is Eliza (note passer/shortie) and Annalyse (tall one) from fifth grade (four years ago), when you taught at hobble creek! We were the first class you taught! We miss and love you, and we always talk about how you were our favorite teacher!

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