Tuesday, March 25, 2014

My Good Friend, NED

Today is a great day. I got my first follow-up scans done a few weeks ago and they pointed out some tiny lung nodules that weren't in the write-ups of my previous scans. My general feeling was that these nodules meant the cancer was back, and my chances of living were not all that great. I wasn't depressed about it, but just thought that was how it was.

I found out today that they compared the scans closely and the nodules have not changed since my April 2013 scans. Which means the nodules are considered benign and I am NED, no evidence of disease!!! I have more time!!! I was on my way to physical therapy with Michael and I cried tears of the purest joy. The sun was bright, I laughed, cried, danced along to Katy Perry, and realized that I miss my family so much it hurts, but I am so grateful to be alive. And in that moment I felt very strongly that my dad, Amber, and Daniel are happy too. My family, that spent so many hours researching treatments, flying back and forth to visit my mom and I, making home movies in support of me, and taking care of me while I was sick is not here, but they are still pulling for me from the other side.

I truly feel overwhelmed with happiness and gratitude for how beautiful life is and for the love in my family. I don't know how long I'll live for (it turns out none of us do) but at least today it looks like I've got more time than I thought I had. NED, you are my bff. Stick around for awhile?

*Disclaimer: This was actually written on Friday.